My Four-Day War

question markMy Four-Day War

 

I teach, preach and even sing about finding victory over worry. So imagine my dismay when I found myself face to face again with this ugly troublemaker.


The dreaded letter came indicating there was a “finding” on my latest mammogram and that I needed to go in for further testing. I would love to tell you my first prompting, upon opening the letter, was to go straight to God – thanking Him that I live in a world where He has provided state-of-the-art machinery and wise doctors to detect these conditions; that I immediately basked in the peace of knowing, no matter what the outcome, He would be with me and that is enough. Or at least, even if my first thought was not to go to God, it would have been something positive; “I’m a healthy woman. I’m sure it’s nothing and even it if it is there’s no use worrying about this.” 


But no, I don’t remember exactly what my first thoughts were, but I know they weren’t anything I just mentioned. I’m pretty sure, and embarrassed to say, they most likely began with the two poisonous words “what if”, and I went straight back to my worry game, the one I know so well how to play.


One thing I did do right, at least, was to immediately take action. I called and made an appointment for my tests, but I wasn’t able to get in for four days. Four days – plenty of time to ramp the worry up to full-blown incapacitating anxiety. But here is where my story changes. Years ago, the “worry path” is what I would’ve taken. This time I knew better. This time I was equipped and prepared to go to battle. Time to go to war against my evil arch enemy, worry! Game on!


It may not have been my first inclination, but I did end up going to God. I prayed to Him out loud, quietly in my thoughts and even through journaling. Worry fought with a vengeance! It is a powerful and controlling beast, but I battled back with God. Here are some other things I did that brought me little momentary victories:


Positive thinking
–“God is with me. God will provide. I will be victorious over this situation, no matter what, as long as I keep my confidence in Him. I will learn and grow from this.”

Envisioned Jesus with me – in my present and future

Staying in the Present – focus on what I was doing, what was happening in the here and now, guarding my mind from going into the future where worry thrives

Distraction - spent time with my family, did my writing assignment for an upcoming speaking conference, watched some old funny sitcoms

Exercised – ran, lifted weights, paddle-boarded


The four-day war was frustrating, overwhelming, even brutal at times, but there were also times of peace, reassurance and rest. God gave me a good nights sleep each night. He offered me healthy distractions like watching the NBA basketball final with my son, laughing and having fun at the racetrack with my family.


Finally, results day came. I walked into the exam room scared but ready. I got great news! Everything was fine. I thanked God for that blessing but more importantly I thanked Him for all the victories throughout the four-day war. I still have a lot to learn about battling worry. Full victory will never be achieved this side of heaven, but momentary victories will always be yours and mine in Christ Jesus! 

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